Departure

Is it just me or are there too many deaths lately? I always say if it's more than one, it's a lot. That goes for everything, not just death. But, yeah, it seems as though death has been following or lingering around me. I keep thinking there's all these little signs, but I don't know what to take into consideration or just disregard. But I think these deaths mean something, the sadness that follows them also means something...

There's Something to be Said...

There's something to be said about those who lack compassion. I mean, what do you do when the world around you feels everything, but compassion? I've always tried to look at the brighter things in life, but what happens when you run of bright things to see? I guess it hurts that much more when you've spent your life trying really hard to be compassionate and empathetic. It was always harder for me to be truly apathetic. And now it seems as though that is what's happening. I've come to a point where I have to be lethargic towards everything. However, I don't want to be. Don't get me wrong. I'm not here in search of pity, but rather... benevolence, grace, sympathy, kindness, all the things that make you believe we're still human beings. Because there is something to be said about those who lack compassion, they are merely a person of stoicism and indifference. So does that make them a person at all? I think not. Just to be clear, I know that I'm being rather vague about whom I'm talking about, but it's no one in particular. It's a myriad of wrong doers that are dwelling this earth and are tainting it with nightmares. Really, really unnecessary nightmares. So I guess my point is, the world is already hard enough, so why not try being a little compassionate every now and then?

3 Day's of Trial

I can't speak fully right now of what has been going on with me, but I do want to say a few things. These last three days has really made me think about how much one decision can effect so much. How many lives it can effect. How lives can be destroyed, or even how stressful it can be to wait in suspense as you life is crumbling around you. I know this may sound dramatic, but this has been the last three days... i'll continue when i can...

Funeral Connections

I went to a funeral on Saturday. It was a really odd experience. Only because I went expecting to not feel a thing. It was a funeral for a woman who worked with my mom. I met her when I was really young and I haven't seen her since I was a kid. So I really didn't expect what happened. It made me wonder whether or not you just get more in tune with your emotions or I'm just really emotional. But I cried that morning. It made me feel so connected to death and it's actual sadness. We as humans deal with death and violence everyday and it's no big deal. I mean we play Grand Theft Auto, kill millions of people and laugh. So why is it when death is there, really staring you in the face, is it sad? What's the connection there? It's really odd how your heart can break in the smallest ways.

Christmas Song

It's been a while since i've blogged, ha that sounds funny. Anywhoozer, over the last five years, i'd say, i've been wanting to write a christmas. but i never did due to my mediocre talents in music. however, on saturday i fianlly wrote one. it was really cool cuz i got this huge burst of inspiration and i'm really excited. i can't say that it won't be mediocre, but i'm still really excited that i did something i've been wanting to do. so i'm going to lay it down today and give it to my family as a christmas present. only because i have no money and buy them shite. i dunno, i guess as i get older presents just don't matter as much anyway. just being able to be with the ones you love, that means everything. oh geez, i sound super cheesy. whatever ha. so yeah that's about all i got for now.

Just a Thought

I'm thinking I want to record a cover of the song Listen by Beyonce. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's a real good song w/ lot's of soul. Which I'm trying (very unsuccessfully) to train my voice to do. Who knows? Maybe with some practice it'll come out pretty good. It'd be nice to try though, huh? However, it makes me kinda nervous . 1) Because I don't have that great of a voice and 2) Because this would be the first non-joke song i'll have made. It's not my own song, but I'd like to try it only to see if I could do more serious songs successfully. I don't know though, what do you think?? Let me know, Please!

An American Crime

this movie was incredibly rightful in it's name. what happened to Sylvia Likens was absolutely one of the most horrid things i have ever seen/heard of. i would go into it, but it's probably best if you just look her up. throughout the entire movie i was incredibly distraught and... it just makes me dejected and dismal.